The song’s history is fairly well documented because it's a unique track due to the involvement of Moon. She was born in 1967, making the second oldest of Zappa’s four children. One of the saddest things to know about Zappa is how dysfunctional the family was. In fact, Moon wrote a memoir called Earth to Moon which goes in-depth on how abusive and strange it all was. It’s a good read and I suggest it to anyone interested. Frank was, by no means, a conventional father, spending most of his time on tour or in his studio. Every moment with him was a great joy and it's clear in her writing that she has a profound respect for what he did, while also recognizing it wasn’t easy to not have a guiding father figure in her life. The story goes that one night in 1981 as her father worked on material, Moon slipped a piece of paper under the studio door. To paraphrase “Hi! I’m thirteen years old. My name is Moon. I have been trying to stay out of your way while you record. However, I have come to the conclusion that I would love to sing on your album, if you would like to put up with me… I’m available day or night, generally speaking. I would love to do my ‘encino accent’ or ‘surfer dood talk” for you… Love, Moon.” This is where my little clickbait title comes from. Like, how sad is that? Moon’s writing here is really smart and funny. At one point she even asks him to contact her agent. It’s smart and humorous but the intention is to be with her father. To have some time with him. Again, she was thirteen when she wrote this. It must have really hit Zappa at that moment because he obliged. He left his basement studio, went to Moon’s room, woke her up and told her they were going to record. Specifically, he wanted her to do the voices. A few hours later, the lines are recorded over a vamp which was spawned from some soundchecks, she gives her father a hug, and goes back upstairs.

“Valley Girl” was released on 1982’s Ship Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowing Witch and is the only single from the record. It’s listed as a Frank and Moon Zappa composition. It’s rare to see something like that in his discography. It ends up being a hit and from there the family has to do the promotional circuit and this is where that family dysfunction comes back in. Because Frank is touring, Moon has to carry the weight in the US. Again, Moon is a teenager, and she’s being deprived of what teenagers should be doing. Beyond this, Gail, Frank’s wife, became bitter about the entire thing, going as far as to say that the only reason Frank credited Moon and that the only reason she made any royalties on it was because she stepped in. Whether this is true or just an insult from an outright abusive mother towards her daughter is unclear.