I’d argue that this is one of Zappa’s finest pieces. It captures a specific point in American history while also providing a playground for Zappa’s experimentation with new technology. It’s an important one in conceptual continuity for sure.
The story of “Porn Wars” starts at the Parents Music Research Center, or the P.M.R.C. for short. This was a group of activists founded by the wives of famous Reagan-era politicans who wanted to create means by which parents could control what their children listened to. Popular music was booming in 1985. I don’t think I even need to give much of an introduction. Prince, Madonna, Sheena Easton? Part of these band’s appeal, and the appeal of the MTV generation of artists, was the sex appeal, not to mention the violence of the then-rising metal culture. At the same time, moral panics were gaining prominence under the conservative Reagan administration. Put the two together and you have a recipe for disaster. While certain actions were taken by the specific states, the P.M.R.C., with their connections, were able to create hearings about obscenity within the lyrics of the time. They even created a list of fifteen “filthy” songs which “demonstrated” how bad things were. Out of all of the people named, and all of the artists concerned, only three stepped up to the plate. Dee Snider of Twisted Sister, John Denver, and Frank Zappa. Zappa, however, was not the same. He saw this as a threat to democracy. A threat to free speech. A sign of fascism under Republican rule. He didn’t just speak at the hearings, he went on as many TV stations as he could to talk about how dangerous the PMRC was. The resulting interviews and debates are nothing short of legendary. Hilarious, smart, and inspiring. Despite his protests, however, the PMRC paved the way to the RIAA and the invention of the Parental Advisory sticker, which ultimately only drove album sales, though Zappa’s advocacy at the time remains a vital part of his legacy.
This was clearly an important subject, so it made sense to make music about it. But how do you make a song about hearings that were dumber than the words you could write about it? Just use their words! “Porn Wars” is not a rock tune. It’s an avant-garde composition utilizing various clips from the hearings spliced, looped and edited together to demonstrate how dire this was. It is expectedly frustrating. Senators repeatedly claim music is causing mental illness, inciting violence and that it must be censored for the benefit of America. Certain clips are taken out of context to show hypocrisy within Washington and the country at large (“listen you little slut, do as you are told” said by Reverend Jeff Ling is a standout). At times the chaos breaks for added commentary from Zappa, notably Spider, who would later become a main character on Civilization Phaze III, and the Thing-Fish from the titular musical. It’s a nauseating listen but that’s why it’s great. The amount of stupidity said in this is staggering, and it pisses you off to no end. You can feel Zappa’s frustration bleeding through each edit. It is a track made out of hate, but it’s a righteous hate. You can’t hear them talking about a “constituional” way to suppress speech and not be mad, especially when it comes right after the claim that there would be no legislation.
The piece was created using the synclaiver, a complex system which Zappa fell in love with in the ‘80s. His best work from the decade comes from it in my opinion. Unlike a standard synthesizer, the synclavier worked with high quality samples with a lot of room for flexibility (though at a steep price and what seems like a massive learning curve, the first models of these were basically only used by universities). That flexibility is apparent in “Porn Wars.” He’s doing stuff here that his usual band just couldn’t pull off. Lots of nested rhythms and complex, repeating melodies with an overall orchestral sound. It’s amazing that he was doing this in 1984. Today, you could pull this off in Garageband. Back then he had to program everything in one at a time. I can only imagine how long it took to make this. It really paid off.
I do want to quickly mention “Porn Wars Deluxe” which is an extended version of the track. It’s fine but it isn’t as concise and focused.
I think the greatest achievement of “Porn Wars” is that it doesn’t feel high on itself. For as much as I agree with free speech activism (especially these days under this Republican regime actively monitoring social media for even a hint of disagreement, Zappa predicted Republican fascism but nobody heeded that warning) it can often feel overzealous. Arguments are bypassed for shock value, and opposition to it as a tactic is met with calls of weakness. Zappa was a great free speech advocate because he could do both. He made airtight arguments against the most slimy people in the world while also clowning on them. Seriously, go watch his debates from the time. His Crossfire appearance has him telling someone to kiss his ass and coming out the winner. “Porn Wars” is the musical version of that. It says everything while also being shocking and funny. It’s a perfect encapsulation of the cluelessness and maliciousness of politicians, and the confusion of moral panics. You can’t come away from it happy. If you want to understand the PMRC, it’s essential listening.
By the way, the censorship never stopped. As you read this, Congress is looking to pass an omnibus of “internet safety” bills that would mandate age verification (opening us up to private info leaking, something which just happened in the U.K.) and incentivize platforms to censor information that the government disapproves of. Take some time out of each day to call your representatives and senators to tell them to reject KOSA, the SCREEN Act, and the other bills in this package. Fight For The Future has been keeping tabs on this, so check them out if you’re looking to learn more.